The Dark Side Continues to Invade the Bright Side

During illnesses of this magnitude, all things are challenging. There is much to be said about working through these times as boredom sets in on a regular basis and the physical and emotional strength to do anything about it is sometimes too much. But I try. I try to go on little outings with family and friends. I am exhausted by the time I return, but it is still important to try. I try to go on walks with the dog, but it is more like the dog is walking me.

Now I find myself getting my final closing figures for the business that I had closed in August. This is truly a sad and challenging time. As much as I miss working (for myself especially), I can't imagine having to work while going through all these surgeries, treatments and recovery periods. I think it would have been impossible to work during these struggles. I am now saddled with the responsibility of trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. Do I want to open another business? Do I want to continue with Aesthetics? Do I want to work for myself? Do I want to work for someone else? Can I work for someone else? Will that someone else understand all I have gone through enough to allow me my 'rage attacks'? This remains to be seen. There is still time to ponder these and many more questions.

What doesn't let up for a second is my responsibility of raising a family. This continues regardless of what I have been through and continue to go through. Even when the young ones are on the 'dark side', I am still receiving many phone calls of complaints, emails of complaints and dealing with the dark side is no easy task. One of the most stressful things to endure for the sake of the young ones. Why can't the dark side leave me alone! Why can't the dark side put his own selfish needs aside for the sake of the young ones! Why does the dark side feel that severe punishment is OK when it simply is not OK! Why does the dark side feel the need to lie to the young ones! Why does the dark side feel the need to control everything and everyone! And, equally as important.....why the hell doesn't the dark side let me get on with my life.......you know, the bright side! Oh....and here's a thought.....why the hell doesn't the dark side get on with his own sad, pathetic life!