There's No Place Like Home

This might turn into a bit of a confusing blog in terms of order of events. My mind is still a bit fuzzy from the anesthetic and various pain killers, but I really want to blog about this surgery, hospital stay and the miraculous return home.

Before surgery there is a pre-op. This is where you meet with the surgeon to ask any questions you might have prior to the "big day". Once those questions are answered you are put more at ease and ready to continue on to the next step.

For me it was not that simple (of course). I went for my pre-op. Asked the questions, had them answered and I was ready to go. Sounds normal so far, right? Well....

I went in for the surgery which apparently went very well. Not that they got it all, because they only got 65%. I still have to go for 5 weeks of radiation in 6 - 8 weeks time. There were no complications to speak of. It was completed in a shorter period of time than anticipated, which we all thought was great. I woke up from the anesthetic which was a miracle (I think), since I really wasn't sure I would this time. Went into recovery, then into ICU where I started unravelling all that happened in surgery. Allow me to explain further.

This brain surgery was supposed to be done transphenoidally. This means the incision was to be where the inside of the top lip and top gums meet. There was no mention of any other incision or anything else.

So, here I am in ICU....my head hurts a lot, I hooked up to all kinds of things and all this is supposed to be normal. I guess because my head hurt so much I started to put my hands on the side and back of my head only to feel some very foreign things. My hair was completely matted and stiff. There were two bumps on the sides of my head (it all felt very bruised) and it just didn't feel right. I asked the ICU nurse if I was dropped in the OR. Why not? She assured me I wasn't and I continued to explain all these foreign feelings regarding my head. She tried to explain that it was all normal. Ok, I am too dopey to ask any more or press it any further. When the Surgeon came to check in on me, I wasn't coherent enough to remember what I wanted to ask him, so that was that.

When the night nurse came on, I was (I thought) feeling so much better and stronger, I asked her about the hair matting and the bumps and bruises and she was straight with me. She told me that the hair was matted because of all the bleeding. WHAT???? There wasn't supposed to be any bleeding in the back of the head. The bumps and bruises were from the screws they used to keep my head still during surgery. ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? Nobody told me about any screws. And the irregular bumps were from the staples used to stop the bleeding once the screws were removed. OMG, SOMEBODY KILL ME NOW!!! I wasn't told about any of this during the "pre-op". Although, that's probably a good thing, because I can't say that I would have proceeded with the surgery had I known all this. The night nurse tries to calm me down, turns up the oxygen and strokes my matted, bloody hair. She suggested a non rinse shampoo for my hair to make me feel a bit better. She lathered up my hair (ever so gently), tried to squeeze the dried blood into a towel and then combed out the rest of my hair and put it into a "pebbles" pony tail with a ribbon. I can't remember the last time I received such genuine kindness and compassion during a hospital stay.

I am then transferred out of ICU the following morning into a room. I don't remember much of that uneventful experience except for another patient calling out in agony every 2 minutes. When she was lucky enough to fall asleep, she snored terribly. I couldn't rest regardless of how much medication they tried to pump through my veins. I asked for a transfer and then I was at peace.

Surrounded by my family and getting tons of rest was all I needed. Many friends sent messages through my husband letting us know that their thoughts and prayers were with us. It's quite amazing....the power of prayer. I have had to call upon it alot in the past several months and it works. If I didn't believe then....I sure believe now.

After I had the staples removed, I was able to shower.....what a blessing that is. At the hospital, I wasn't allowed to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. They would come in and take blood, check all hormone levels to make sure all was well. There was a diabetic scare, but that was quickly rectified and now I am home. A mere 5 days after such a serious operation, I am home.

I am blessed with great friends sending in meals, grocery shopping, helping out in various ways and my Mom staying with me in case I need anything and looking after things on the home front. There's nothing like being surrounded by my things, my comforts and my home.

How do I thank them all for their love, patience, understanding, compassion and support. If I haven't said it before, there's no place like home!