No Problem....That's The Problem

Apparently I have not been "dealing" with the fact that I was diagnosed with Cancer. I have been "coping" but not "accepting". This is not news to me, as I have been burying the reality to try to continue living a "normal" life. Not that this is wrong.....it is just the way I have been "handling" things.

As mentioned in previous blogs, my mood swings are brutal. My emotions are all over the place and every so often (too often, if you ask me) I am attacked by rage. It is this rage that made my Oncologist refer me to the Psychosocial Ward at PMH. I thought I was going to be committed after answering a number of questions. The tears were everywhere; my head was pounding; my heart was racing and then it happened. The Psychiatrist, who specializes in Oncology, said the magic words....."this is perfectly normal after what you have been through". What a relief to have my feelings (even the rage attacks) validated. I am not losing my mind. I am suffering from menopause and because it was brought on so suddenly, the symptoms are much more intense than they would have been had I gone through it gradually.

The good news is that the "rage attacks" can be worked on and "dealing" with Cancer to the point of acceptance can be obtained. The bad news is....not until after the next surgery.

I think a combination of specific psychotherapy, healthy eating and meds will make all the difference.

First things first.....a little R&R in the sunny state....then some major surgery.....then some combo therapies......then five weeks of radiation......then more combo therapies and exercise and then I'll be better than I was before.

Is this a pipe dream? I think not. This is my reality.

Will I get through this? Sure, I will......No Problem.