I went back for my second day of Radiation with mega trepidation. I did not want to be there and this time, I was anxious after what happened in the first treatment. I had taken a "relaxant" prior to entering the hospital, just in case. Thank you "Dr. Robert".
I spoke to the technicians prior to being hooked up to the "contraption". I told them everything I felt the day before. I told them that I have endured some of the worst pain imaginable. I have had kidney stone attacks (extremely painful), I have endured the pain prior to being diagnosed with cervical cancer (equivalent to two and a half months of hard labour) and for me to have the treatment stop in the middle because of pain, it must have been insanely severe and unbearable.
When they re-measured, my prayers were answered loud and clear. They had set me up the first day as if I were between five foot six and five foot nine. Can you believe it? All you have to do is look at me ever so briefly to realize that I'm not even at the five foot mark. My shoulders, neck and head were stretched several inches beyond capacity. No wonder I couldn't stand the pain. No wonder I almost fainted. I was stunned that this could have happened. To know that my horrific experience could have easily been avoided...OMG, what will they do next?
This time, I brought my Johnny Cash - San Quentin CD. It's a "kick ass" CD and I needed to "kick ass", so it was very fitting. I made it through this treatment with quite a bit of discomfort and a some pain, but it was much more tolerable than the first treatment. I don't care if my shoulders dig into the metal posts. I don't care if my spine feels crushed just between my shoulder blades. I can handle that kind of pain and discomfort. What I can't handle is the pain of the first day.
I am hopeful that Monday will be better and I am grateful that I have the weekend off.
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