Shooting Blanks???

Did yesterday really happen?

It was a "normal" day for me, I thought. I left the house early in the morning with my wonderful husband to go downtown for a lengthy blood test. This one is to get a base line of hormones, so when the pituitary gland starts to fail, the doctors will have more information to go on.

We then walked downtown, which most of you know I haven't done in a long time, and shopped at the Eaton Centre. That was interesting and fun. I found more Johnny Cash "stuff" that I just had to add to my collection and it was a good morning.

We then walked to PMH for my treatment and for the first time in a while, I was taken in on time. Here's where I get a little suspicious.

I didn't feel the usual feelings after my treatment. In fact, I felt somewhat energized. This was rare, but I was going to enjoy every minute of it and we did. We went car shopping, test driving and for dinner. Had a long hot bath, watched Seinfeld, and spent some quality time with my honey and all was good. Then it hit me....why was I feeling like this when all other days I have felt so horrible? (Didn't we just ask a similar question at the Seder?) Then I had a light bulb moment....they must have shot blanks. There is no way I had a full dose of radiation and felt that good afterwards. Then I had another thought....maybe, just maybe my body was getting used to the whole process and I was going to feel better from hereon in.

Today proved that theory wrong. I was back to the same old headache, nausea and exhaustion I have been feeling for weeks. So, my first theory seems to be the only one that fits.....they must have been shooting blanks yesterday. Can they do the "placebo" thing with radiation? I don't know.

I am now down to a remaining 7 treatments. The struggle continues but the dream is getting closer....I see oceans, ancient architectural buildings, wine, food, islands, cruise ships....I see it all. The light is very near.