First Week Complete A+

Prior to this, I was diagnosed with the following:

Crohn's Disease
Brain Tumour
Stomach Tumours
(in an incredible two month span)

And so it has begun. My personal fight against this horrible plague has quickly become hard work and a very humbling experience thus far.

At first, the diagnosis of Cervical Cancer was seemingly devastating. Having had health challenges for much of my adult life, I figure I can handle this too. After all, G-D doesn't hand you what you can't handle, right?

So, just to give a bit of background, I have had difficulty in the "women's area" for a couple of years at least. After seeing my regular Gynecologist (whom I've had in my life for 17 years), he was sure to tell me that I'm too young to be going through the change and not to worry. Sometimes, things just don't seem right. How foolish of me to trust him. I had more severe symptoms just a short while later and after an ultrasound, the result showed "a complex mass on the cervix", which led me to hysterics and back into his office asking for further clarification. Again, I was told "it's probably a fibroid or a cyst"...."very common"...."almost every woman gets this". When I asked if further testing should be done, he calmly said it wasn't necessary, since my pap test came back normal. Stupid me...I accepted this and left his office.

For several months I experienced incredible pain and discomfort and eventually started to hemorrhage. I was taken to YCH here in town, and they were ill equipped to deal with my situation. After being referred to a Gynecologic Oncologist at Princess Margaret Hospital by my Gastrointerologist at Mt. Sinai, things began to take shape ever so slightly. While in YCH, the GYNE on call was asked to speak to the GYNE-ONC who asked for a biopsy. Finally, some action was being taken.

An appointment one week later with the GYNE-ONC revealed the pathology results showing Cervical Cancer. After the shock and freak out reactions of myself, my husband and my mother, I was told surgery was imminent due to the severity of the pain. Little did I know that meant the very next day.

After the surgery was completed the GYNE-ONC was stunned to realize that I must have experience two and a half months of hard labour, by the size and shape of the cervix. A full, radical hysterectomy was performed and physical healing post op was to begin.

I am tired, scared much of the time and worried about the future. A dear friend reminded me to take one hour at a time....even one moment at a time if necessary. So, this is my first lesson in patience and giving it over to the Divine for intervention.

Breaking this news to my children was something I never imagined doing. They were terrific overall. They love me and care about me and are worried about me and their future. We are all dealing with this the best way we can.

Radiation and Chemotherapy Treatments were recommended and strongly advised.

When told of the treatment start date (the week of Rosh Hashana), I was so upset. I wanted desperately to be with my family and friends at TKA and to pray collectively with my people. After all, what better time to pull it all together across the universe. With the Oncologist's approval, I was able to begin the week of Yom Kippur instead. After mentioning to our wonderful friend and Cantorial Soloist that I was devastated to miss Kol Nidre and Yom Kippur services, she suggested the idea of the web cast. What an incredible idea. I realize it wasn't just for me, as several people have benefited from it. I must say, with Wednesday being my first Chemo appointment and getting home late after a lengthy delay in treatment, it was a G-Dsend to be able to log on to the pod cast and join in the prayers and service. Thank you just doesn't seem like enough, but it will have to do for now.

Part of this humbling experience is the realization that I am loved and cared for by so many people. Our community at TKA has been incredible in helping us get through this difficult time by grocery shopping, visiting, schlepping the kids around, schlepping me around to and from treatments, bringing food for Shabbat Dinners, etc. There are no words to describe the positive energy and love from so many.

I am truly blessed, as are my wonderful husband and adoring children.

After being told that I shouldn't be in large crowds (not knowing who is sick or not), I refuse to be a hostage during my treatments. I will proceed with caution and do what I feel I must do.

My hope is to attend Torah Study tomorrow and then rest for the day. We shall see what happens.

Peace and Good Health Always